Life: It's what we practice that counts

What we practice is what we get good at. You likely already know this, but have you really thought about what that means in your life? To your own wellbeing? In your relationships?
 
Maybe you spend the majority of your time worrying. Or serving others. How much time are you devoting to holding grudges? Is putting your health first (or last) a regular top contender in your daily list of things to do?
 
You can become habitual and masterful at anything you spend enough time practicing.

Whether an instrument, a sport, or a way of thinking or behaving, everything we practice sets electrical patterns or grooves into our central nervous system. Over time, and with enough practice, any action or reaction to a situation becomes stuck in those grooves, habitual, automatic. And when what you are practicing is anger, hate, fear, prejudice, judgment, or self neglect . . . imagine what happens in your body as you wake up and default to those ways of feeling and being every day.

Because there is no true destination in life, nowhere to end up other than (eventually) dead, the only thing we must do while we are here is wake up and practice . . . something.

For some people, that practice turns out to be an addiction to numb or escape from trauma or traumatic emotions. For others, that practice is a frenetic chase for the next best thing, something bigger, something more. I’ve certainly practiced both of those in my life. But now, I’m working really hard to practice something that serves my health a bit better. Now I choose, no matter how challenging it sometimes can seem, to practice the following:

• Being Present (e.g., meditating). Probably the hardest thing to do in a competitive, “you’re worthless unless you’re DOING something" culture is to sit still and be quiet with yourself, just watching your thoughts go by and hearing or counting your own breath. This practice is a gift. It’s one of few things that shuts my brain up for a split second so I can experience being present instead of worrying about or planning for a possible future. 
  
• Dancing and/or Yoga. Both of these practices invite me to be present and fully in my body--that same body that I practiced judging and blaming and hating almost half of my life and only in the last decade have learned to appreciate, revere, and thank. 
• Gratitude, Compassion, Forgiveness, and Acknowledgment. In January, I decided that 2019 was my year to practice Gratitude, Compassion, and Forgiveness. So I bought a journal, created a daily reminder on my calendar, and every day by 8 p.m. I open that journal and write at least one thing I am grateful for, at least one person (myself included) I feel compassion for, and at least one person (myself included) I forgive. It’s the only healthy, non-addictive resolution or practice that I have ever stuck to daily for more than a couple of weeks (10 weeks and counting!), and it’s keeping me aware of how beautiful my life is. And last week, thanks to an activity we did in a recent writer workshop, I started keeping a “New and Good” journal, too. So now, after my gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness is written, I open that pretty journal and write at least one new thing and at least one good thing I want to acknowledge that day. This practice, also, is making me feel ecstatic about this glorious life I am privileged to have.

Each of these practices makes me a more relaxed, open, loving person, ready to encounter whatever external things happen along the way. In total, though, they take up only about 50 minutes of an average day. The return on this time investment sure feels like much more.
 
Next time I’ll tell you my best tips for how to go about starting a practice or a new behavior when you are terrified of judgment and afraid that you are not good enough to change your ways. Those tips really do work, even if you're scared of failing.

In the meantime, I’m curious to know what practices you engage in and which ones especially keep you happy, sane, loving, or present in this frequently noisy, frequently challenging, frequently distracting world.